Top Dating Tips
for a more Intimate Relationship
a relationship is hard work, whether it is with a friend or a lover.
The early days are rightfully called the honeymoon period of any
relationship, with long conversations, sharing of interests, general
getting to know one another, the relationship can start to collapse if
the initial impetus is not held on to. It is how you conduct the
relationship and how much effort you invest in it after a certain
period of time which becomes the defining feature of your relationship.
Ways to help a relationship grow:
Being 100% there while your partner is speaking is an important point.
You may think that you can multitask while listening to someone else
but, not true. Our brain can handle only one task at a time and
therefore, it suspends work on one thing while completing the other.
Something similar happens to us when we think that we can drive and
have a conversation at the same time.
• Maintaining eye contact
is an interesting way to deepen a conversation without words being
spoken, as it increases intimacy. The eyes are the windows to our soul
and the deeper one looks into them the deeper they can see into our
very being. Our vulnerabilities are visible through our eyes, and
maintaining eye contact is an established way of offering oneself up
• Hormones are important. The increased production
of oxytocin is a result of physical affection. Most of the times we
feel tired after an intimate session of lovemaking. This is quite
natural and nothing to feel guilty about. The investment we make in the
relationship is visible when we take the effort to cuddle, draw the
other person closer and engage in other acts of physical tenderness.
These help the tired feeling vanish and draw us closer as well.
Sharing feelings of spirituality is a great way to open up to another.
Our religion or spirituality is something that is deep, meaningful and
valuable for us. Allowing another person access not only shows that we
trust him or her, but also allows different kinds of world views to
coexist. We may view our beliefs in a different light once we have
taken the trouble to share them with somebody close to our hearts. It
draws people closer and helps propagate the feeling of communion which
is very much lacking in today’s world.
• Paying attention to
what the other person is saying seems like such a simple tip, but this
is something which we all fail to do at times. We are so caught up in
our daily schedules, in our work and ourselves that we hardly have time
to really sit down and listen to others. We give them a cursory hearing
and feel better that our job is done. This only helps separate people
and creates misunderstandings and tension. You will find that if you
really listen to someone, you can gauge a lot about the person through
the nuances of his voice than what he is actually saying.
Being emotionally available to our partners is something that should
come naturally to us but often doesn’t. The reason is similar to the
point discussed above. We are so caught up in our affairs that we build
a shell around ourselves and don’t let people get to know the real us.
This may be due to reasons of insecurity or lack of trust. Needless to
say, lack of trust and insecurities do not make for a successful or
healthy relationship. Being emotionally available to your partner is
the perfect way of sharing a life together.
• Acceptance is the
key to understanding. We often have to compromise on a lot of small
things in order to realize the greater goals of togetherness. For
example, it doesn’t really matter if your partner refuses to like the
TV show that you are such a fan of. At the end of the day, will these
things count or will issues like trust, dependence, love be counted? So
accept the fact that your partner is an individual entity with
individual likes and dislikes that may not be in accordance with your
own. Acceptance holds the key to a successful relationship.
Support: There are four kinds of support according to research.
Newlyweds have claimed that physical and emotional support as well as
informational and support to the self-esteem, are all very important.
Supporting your partner through thick and thin, making him or her feel
that they can count on you is such an important thing in a relationship
that it cannot be overstated. The right kind and the right level of
support is the real trick. You don’t want to stifle the other person
with your constant advice but you also should be there for him or her
when they need it. Striking a balance in this case is absolutely
• Laughing together is another important activity
because it helps us unwind and is also the perfect way to make a fight
dissolve. Laughing is not just something we do at a joke but it is an
established way of social interaction and resolving undefined tensions
• Finding common interests is very important.
Let the seven year itch not get you or your relationship down. Find and
pursue common interests together. There are only so much of sweet
nothings which you can whisper in the course of a relationship. Finding
common interests will help you both grow together.
Written by: Jennifer Crowley